Types of Grief You Might Experience Before or After Losing Someone You Love
When someone we love is dying—or has passed—grief doesn’t always look the way we expect. Sometimes it shows up early, before the goodbye. Other times, it lingers long after the world believes we should have “moved on.”
This blog is here to help you recognize and understand the different types of grief that may surface during a loved one’s end-of-life journey or after they’ve passed—whether it’s been weeks, years, or even decades. At Elliot Lake Palliative Care Services, we offer support, grief groups, and compassionate care to help you navigate the emotions that come with loss.
What Is Anticipatory Grief?
One of the most common but least talked about forms of grief is anticipatory grief—the deep sorrow we feel before a loss happens. This can occur when a loved one is receiving palliative care or when you know their time is limited.
You may feel sadness, anxiety, guilt, or even anger during this time. These feelings are valid. You’re already starting to grieve the changes and the goodbye you know is coming.
Anticipatory grief can feel isolating—but you don’t have to go through it alone. While our grief support groups begin after a loss, the Elliot Lake Palliative Care team is available to offer comfort, guidance, and referrals while your loved one is in care. Reach out anytime—we’re here to support you.
Ways to Help Anticipatory Grief:
Talk openly with someone you trust about your emotions—don’t bottle them up.
Write letters to your loved one or journal your thoughts to process feelings.
Join a grief group early—yes, before the loss. Many people find it helps to connect even now.
Allow yourself to experience both joy and sorrow in moments you still have together.
Acute Grief After a Loss
Immediately after a loved one passes, you may feel shocked, numb, or overwhelmed. This is called acute grief, and it often comes with physical and emotional symptoms—exhaustion, tears, disrupted sleep, or feeling like you’re just “going through the motions.”
This stage can be intense, but you're not expected to go through it alone. Many people find comfort in connecting with others through community grief support or groups, where it’s safe to talk openly about your experience and find reassurance that what you're feeling is normal.
Ways to Help Acute Grief:
Let others help. Accept meals, rides, or support—even if it’s hard to ask.
Stick to small routines—even simple things like making tea or walking to the mailbox help anchor your day.
Give yourself permission to not be “productive.” Rest is part of grief.
Join a grief group or talk to a grief counselor—sharing this heavy time can lighten it, just a bit.
Delayed or Prolonged Grief: When the Sadness Comes Later
Some people don’t feel the full weight of their grief until months or years after the loss. This is called delayed grief or prolonged grief disorder, and it's more common than many realize.
Maybe the emotions hit during a birthday, around the holidays, or on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon. These waves can feel just as fresh as the day your loved one passed—and that’s okay.
Grief is not linear. And if you’re feeling “stuck” or overwhelmed by loss long after the funeral, grief support services in Elliot Lake can help you process those emotions and move toward healing in a healthy, supported way.
Ways to help delayed or prolonged grief:
Acknowledge the grief when it resurfaces. Don’t judge yourself for “still feeling it.”
Create a ritual of remembrance—light a candle, visit a meaningful place, or write a letter.
Reconnect with grief support groups or talk to others who’ve experienced long-term grief.
If grief is affecting your daily functioning for more than a few months, talk to a professional about prolonged grief disorder.
Disenfranchised Grief: When Your Loss Isn’t Acknowledged
Sometimes, the grief we feel isn’t recognized by others. This is known as disenfranchised grief—for example, mourning an ex-partner, a distant relative, or someone with whom you had a complicated relationship. Society may not “allow” you the space to grieve, but that doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real or worthy of support.
Our grief groups welcome everyone experiencing loss—regardless of who you lost or how others perceive your grief. There’s no right or wrong way to mourn.
Ways to help disenfranchised grief:
Validate your own experience. Your grief is real, even if others don’t acknowledge it.
Express your feelings privately through art, journaling, or music.
Seek out nonjudgmental spaces—like our grief support groups—where all types of loss are welcome.
Avoid people who try to minimize your grief. Give yourself permission to grieve fully.
Why Join a Grief Support Services or Group in Elliot Lake?
Grief can be incredibly isolating—but it doesn’t have to be. Whether you’re coping with anticipatory grief, sudden loss, or emotions resurfacing years later, being part of a grief support or group can help you:
Feel less alone
Understand the types of grief you’re experiencing
Express difficult emotions in a safe space
Learn healthy coping skills
Begin to heal alongside others
At Elliot Lake Palliative Care Services, our grief groups are open, inclusive, and guided by trained facilitators who offer compassionate care.
