The History of Death Cafés: Talking About Death to Better Embrace Life
When was the last time you had an open, honest conversation about death?
For most of us, death is the one topic we push to the side. We whisper about it in hospitals, we avoid it in casual conversation, and sometimes, we don’t talk about it at all. But what if sharing our thoughts on death could actually help us live more fully?
That’s exactly the idea behind Death Cafés which is a global movement that started with one small gathering and has grown into thousands of conversations around the world.
Where It All Began
The concept of talking about death over coffee isn’t as new as it sounds. In 2004, Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz hosted the first “Café Mortel” in Switzerland. His goal was simple but profound: to break the cultural silence around death. By inviting people into a safe, informal space, he made conversations about mortality as natural as any other life topic.
Fast forward to 2011, when Jon Underwood, a web developer in London, was inspired by Crettaz’s work. With the help of his mother, psychotherapist Susan Barsky Reid, Underwood held the first official Death Café in his home. Together, they developed a format that was free, welcoming, and built around three things: tea, cake, and open conversation.
How It Grew Into a Global Movement
From that London living room, Death Cafés spread across Europe, North America, and beyond. Today, there have been more than 14,000 Death Cafés in over 85 countries.
The gatherings are always:
Free to attend (though donations for tea and cake are welcome)
Non-commercial (no products or services are sold)
Open to everyone, regardless of belief, background, or age
Each café looks a little different depending on who’s in the room. But the heart of the conversation is always the same: to talk about death in order to better understand and appreciate life.
Why Talk About Death at All?
It may sound heavy, but participants often describe Death Cafés as liberating. Here’s why:
It normalizes the conversation. Death isn’t a failure of medicine or a taboo but part of being human.
It reduces fear. When people share their experiences, anxieties, or even humor about mortality, it makes death feel less overwhelming.
It builds community. Strangers come together to share deeply personal reflections, often leaving with a sense of connection.
It helps us live better. Paradoxically, thinking about death often inspires people to make changes whether that’s repairing relationships, pursuing passions, or simply being more present.
As one participant put it: “Talking about death doesn’t make life shorter but it makes life richer.”
Want to Learn More?
If you’re curious, here are some resources to dive deeper:
Death Café official website – The global hub for upcoming events and information.
Wikipedia: Death Café – A history of the movement.
Wired: Mortals Anonymous – A thoughtful piece capturing the atmosphere of a Death Café.
Circle of Life Hospice – An overview of how far the movement has come.
